


Two Girls, One Smolder

by hookandgranny



Series: Little Cottage in the Big Woods [4]
Category: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Disney, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Disney, Disney Movies, Fairy Tale Retellings, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 15:32:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8495629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hookandgranny/pseuds/hookandgranny
Summary: Snow White finds a cottage in the woods, but it's not the one she's expecting.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Author notes: Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs one-shot/ficlet crossovers with Sleeping Beauty, The Black Cauldron, Enchanted, Tangled, and Alice in Wonderland. Not connected to Witches in the Garden AU.

"Look, I can't very well take _both_ of you to see the lanterns."  
  
The man looked annoyed. Here he was, in the middle of a lovely, wild escapade across the kingdom, moments from completing his mission to pawn the royal crown for riches and glory... and a girl had to go and ruin everything. Well, two girls, actually.  
  
One was blonde and angry. She had long, golden locks, which he usually wouldn't bother mentioning except that they stretched across the room and doubled back over the rafters. He wondered what her deep conditioning routine was like. Actually, he didn't, but he did wonder why her weapon of choice was a cast iron frying pan and whether or not she had a mind to strike him upside the head with it -- again.  
  
The other was laughing at him. She stood just behind the first girl, dark curls bouncing off of her shoulders and a half-wild look in her eye. She made him feel uneasy, and not in the way that he usually did when he charmed girls into forgetting his promises, but the way he felt on the nights before his most daring exploits, like he had accidentally underestimated some great danger and was walking straight into a trap.  
  
The two girls huddled together to confer while the green lizard watched him, its eyes squinted with suspicion. He had already felt the lizard's tongue in his ear twice now, which he did not care for and hoped was not going to become a Regular Thing.  
  
"Not to be a bother, but are you two going to make a decision anytime soon? I had kind of hoped to be on my way by now."  
  
The blonde girl stepped forward, grazing his jawline with the edge of the frying pan.  
  
"Yes," she said. "You will take us to see the lanterns, and Snow will help you find the crown upon our _safe_ return to the tower. And if you pull any funny business at all, you will not see so much as a glimpse of your leather bag nor the crown it carries. Are we clear?"  
  
The man frowned. He rather liked his leather bag.  
  
"All right," he said, straining against the cords that bound him tightly to the chair, hoping to convey some kind of shrug that his shoulders and arms were incapable of performing in his incapacitated state. "Listen, I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder."  
  
Seconds before the frying pan made contact with his head, he had a fleeting thought: Next time, don't try the smolder on two girls at once.


End file.
